Fun blog things

A couple of fun blog things happened to me today.

First of all, I have discovered that the readership of my blog has gone above two although given the nature of the comment I'm not sure how long that will last. Welcome to everyone else out there who is reading but too shy to comment.

Second, anyone know why the RSS feed on Kelly's blog never works.

There was going to be a third thing. I have no idea what it was. Perhaps it's time for me to sleep.

For Amanda

I'm posting this for Amanda who asked if I knew the difference between running and jogging. I looked it up, and there are a couple of ideas. Here's one. Here's another. It sounds like semantics to me, but the kinds of semantics that some people take very seriously. We've never had the caving/spelunking or boat/ship debates on this blog, but I assure you, there's a difference. Also, I'm posting this because it's seems relevant to the topic.

I love the stuff that happens in Kentucky

Let me just open by saying, I've literally travelled around the world and Kentucky is the most beautiful place I've ever been. However, Mark Twain once said that Cincinnati is twenty years behind the times. I like to think Kentucky caused the drag.

So, in Louisville, Kentucky (where students are in school in August in an effort to store up snow days because in Kentucky if a cow pees on the road and it freezes the kids will get the day off of school) a history teacher burned two american flags, one in each of two history classes. He did it as an excercise to get kids to think about free speech. The more interesting thing is how it's being reported in the news. Check out story 1, story 2, and story 3. There's also a story with video at CNN available but the link is to a java script command to open a video player and I don't know how to transfer that onto my blog yet maybe one day Kelly will help me.

I'm interested in two things:

1. The first news story was filed before a parent complained. Who told the news?
2. The school board now seems to be all hot and bothered (I wonder if they're up for re-election this year) and is saying the teacher could illustrate his point to students any other way.
   

Now let's just sit for a moment and reflect on the fact that this assigment that was designed to get students to consider free speech and the school board is telling the teacher he shouldn't use a currently legal act of free speech as a teaching tool. Then, for performing said act of free speech, the school board censures the teacher in the news, re-assigns him, starts an investigation, and notifies fire officials who are able to start their own investigation.

If I was a seventh grader in Louisville, Kentucky I would assume that it's really not legal (or smart) to burn an American flag.

Since I don't knit

Since I don't knit, I was thinking maybe I could do this instead. At least if it doesn't work out for me, surely Kellyor Amanda could make one. I'm sure one of them carries a purse more than I do anyways.

The tour of parks

Since I have the day off and was able to sleep in, I went for a really long run this morning. When I say long, I mean I toured a couple parks I don't usually see along my normal route. I ran through Powderhorn Park which I haven't done since I left for the Peace Corps, and two tiny parks on either side of Park Ave between 43rd street and 44th street. They're really cute little parks. All in all, I ran just over 6 miles this morning in about 75-80 minutes (which still makes me the slowest runner on the planet). My knees were kind of hurting by the end. Is that bad?

Also, random question: Does a cat in heat sound roughly the same as a baby crying?

Just a few other things...

Just a few other things you should know about me because I didn't get home from work (no, not that job, the other one) until 11pm and I'm not quite ready to sleep yet.

Your Aura is Blue

Spiritual and calm, you tend to live a quiet but enriching life. You are very giving of yourself. And it's hard for you to let go of relationships. The purpose of your life: showing love to other people Famous blues include: Angelina Jolie, the Dali Lama, Oprah Careers for you to try: Psychic, Peace Corps Volunteer, Counselor

What Color Is Your Aura?

You Communicate With Your Ears

You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker. What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions. You love to hear complements from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself. Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod.

How Do You Communicate?

This one seems a little low to me. As I said before, I doubt the accuracy of some of these tests.

You Are 44% Obsessive

You're somewhat obsessive, especially when it comes to a couple things (like horrifying thoughts or cleanliness). As long as your quirks aren't interrupting your life, it's all good.

How Obsessive Are You?

On Average, You Would Sell Out For

$1,118,111

At What Price Would You Sell Out?

I did actually know this one.

You Are 90% Psychic

You are so very psychic. But you already predicted that, didn't you? You have "the gift" - and you use it daily to connect with others. You're very tapped into the world around you... Just make sure to use your powers for good!

Are You Psychic?

You Are Periwinkle

You're very intuitive and sensitive. You often know other people better than they know themselves. You're also quite optimistic, and you think well of yourself and others. You know your dreams will come true.

What Color Blue Are You?

You Are a White Flower

A white flower tends to represent purity, simple beauty, and modesty. At times, you are dignified like a magnolia. And at other times, you represent great ecstasy, like a white orchid. And more than you wish, you're a little boastful, like a white hydrangea.

What Color Flower Are You?

And my personal favorite although I knew this as well

Your Lucky Underwear is Purple

Dreamy and idealistic, you envision great things for your life. Your lucky purple underwear can make those dreams come true! You're a busy little butterfly. You have the most projects, interests, and friends of anyone you know. You also have a flair for the dramatic. Sometimes too much drama comes in to your life and brings things to a stop. If you want to focus more, and flutter less, put on your purple underpants. They'll help you get the important things done.

What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?

Now I'm entertained

After taking this quiz and these two quizzes this morning, I'm quite entertained with the quizzes at Blogthings. Here's a couple more:

I don't think this is a suprise to anyone who knows me:

You Are 30% Extrovert, 70% Introvert

You are quite reserved You aren't afraid of social situations... But you very much prefer to go it alone And why not? You're your own best friend!

Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?

This one was just entertaining.

Your Career Personality: Idealistic, Service-Oriented, and Future-Oriented

Your Ideal Careers: Alternative health practitioner Architect Environmental lawyer Librarian Magazine editor Museum curator Novelist Nutritionist Photo journalist Playwright

The Quick and Dirty Career Test

Against my better judgement

I'm posting this one against my better judgement, only because I think it's a flawed test. I just had to giggle at the first line. The second line made me giggle too.

Your IQ Is 115

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Above Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

I was playing at Kelly's blog. She had taken these tests so it seemed like the thing to do.

You Are 45% Left Brained, 55% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

I just don't even know what to think about this one.

You Are Animal

A complete lunatic, you're operating on 100% animal instincts. You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you're downright scary. But you sure can beat a good drum. "Kill! Kill!"

The Muppet Personality Test

Well now it's even more annoying

Ok. That stupid pedometer is even more annoying now. I re-mapped my route. I ran 4.33 miles or 6.975K this morning, thank you very much. And then I tried, once again to save the picture of the elevation changes in my route. As you can see from my previous post, all 4.3 miles are not in the picture even though when I right-clicked and selected "save image as" I could see the whole thing. When I tried to save the elevation picture the second time, once again it didn't even show three of the four miles even though the entire picture was displayed on my screen as it was saving. Anyone who knows what's up with this, let me know.

The Long Run

... and why Google Maps Pedometer is goofy.

I ran, well, I'm not sure but over 4.3 miles today. Maybe 4.4, maybe not quite. I was on G-Maps clicking out my route and suddenly it wouldn't click anymore. I blame Google. They are, afterall, the source of all my problems in life.






This is a picture of this mornings run. Minus the last block. It's ok. That block was downhill anyways.

Some funny pictures

These are two photos I saw on Bald Guy Greetings. Is it wrong they both remind me of Kelly?













This is a photo to remind everyone that it's very difficult to get the perfect picture of the Taj Mahal. It always winds up being crooked.

Interesting discovery

I was on Google Pedometer and I discovered something very interesting about the elevation feature. It only measures the elevation change between the points I mark on the map. So if I don't make a new point at every block, the measures are less accurate.





On the right is just putting points on the maps where I turn corners or turn around. On the left is putting a point at every city block, no matter if I'm going straight or not.









Here are the less and more accurate elevation maps for my normal neighborhood run. See the one on the left, between miles two and three it looks like I run basically straight up a hill. I do. Remember all the times I complained about the big hill in my run?

I still feel like crap

My my, I'm quite whiny these days. I'm blame biology. I felt in a bind this morning about running. On the one hand, I need to run because I work tonight which means running tomorrow morning is unlikely and I work tomorrow night which means running Sunday morning is unlikely. I didn't want to not run 3 or 4 days in a row. Who can predict the likelihood of running on a Monday?

As a compromise, I decided I would run hills. I still ran 3 miles, almost a whole 5K, just with many more hills. There's one in particular that's an absolute beast. I've circled it in blue.

In honor of Jenny

In honor of Jenny, who doubted that pictures of people jumping would look cool, here are a couple of my own. Yes, I know I've written a lot of posts today but I'm bored and it's too early for bed. I miss cable.

what just happened

I went to open up my blog and all I could see was a bunch of code. What the he!! just happened?

Here are a few more pictures to explain how crappy I feel

this is new

I saw this story earlier and meant to write about it. It's funny that I told Jenny a story of a couple friends who met on Geek 2 Geek and Jenny was asking me if I'd ever thought about meeting someone that way. Cause just waiting for Mr. Right, or anyone else, is working so well for me right now. The flirting in traffic thing sounds like it could be absolutely hysterical.

The sad fact is

The sad fact is I ran a really long way today and I should feel proud of such an accomplishment. Instead, I feel like crapola.

well that was sad

I had a nice post, but it didn't publish properly. I'm not sure if it was because of Blogger or because of my wireless connection. Either one is a possibility at this point. The point of the post was to ask if anyone knows how to get a .gif animation file up on my blog. No, I do not have a server.

In other news, I ran 4.28 miles today and now I'm in pain. In all fairness, it's a biologically inconvenient time for me right now and I think I'd still be in pain even if I hadn't run.

Yesterday I started running but then got the feeling that I had to use the bathroom and so only ran a mile and headed home to avoid any disasters. After I got home I decided to do sit-ups as an alternate form of excercise that wouldn't take me far. Ultimately that may be been a bad decision because the soreness from sit-ups (does sit-ups have a hyphen like that?) may be adding to other pain that I'm experiencing right now. It's hard to say.

does anybody now

Does anybody probably named Kelly, but Amanda may know too if it's possible to post things besides pictures on blogger. In all the free time I've created for myself this summer (by not going to school or working very hard) I found some photo morphing freeware that's pretty fun.

Anyways, I was playing today after running 4.28 miles and I created a cool .gif file it could also be a .swf file or an .avi file. I'd like to put it up here but I'm not really sure blogger is going to let me.

I never really realized

I never really realized how much I sit in my "I-look-so-bored-I-could-spit" pose. It's funny how similar this picture from camping is to this picture from the Twins game. (I'm in the top left corner of this one, ignore the two girls in the front.)

In an effort at adding color to my page

In an effort at adding color to me blog, there are some pictures I'd like to share. Some are penny bridges which involves impressive architec tural skills as well as many many pennies. Other pictures are from the totally fun camping trip we just took.

I'm sooo slow

I figured out this morning that I run a 5k in about 40 minutes which means I run like a 12:45 mile. I am the slowest runner on the planet. Kelly pointed out that I'm short and so have to run slower. I didn't find that advice to be encouraging.

I had a totally good day at work. It was our last day of summer working with the kids. We played an old favorite of mine and Amanda's as well. It's called "Honey if you love me" and the object of the game is to make other people laugh. Needless to say it's freaking hysterical.

my favorite quote

My new favorite quote of the day: "Cultivate the ability to see the ridiculous and retain the ability to laugh" -Edward Cayce

running

Here is a graph of the elevation changes of the Milk Run. There seem to be a lot more uphill parts than I remember.

A quick update for the morning. I ran 4 miles or 6.5K this morning. I'm not sure if I'll get to run tomorrow so I wanted to preemptively run a long way this morning. It's a little bit later than usual so Jenny and Doug are up already. I'm sure I'll have competition for the shower.

In other exciting news I got my registration packet for the Milk Run. I think I'm number 402. I read that for runners who are slower than 11:30 miles (that might be me) they will let traffic through the intersection of Cleveland and Larpentuer at some point so those runners will have to wait. I think that section is after the uphill part so a break wouldn't be so bad.

Today Jenny and Doug and I may go see the locks and dams and the mall for a second time. Last night we just went to the aquarium where we saw the new baby sting rays and the Alpaca store where Jenny and I both got sweaters on sale. Jenny's comment to me about the sweater I got was, "it makes you look skinny. (Hell yeah.)

I'm waiting 'till I get a shower to go out and see Doug who's watching TV right now. I smell like I've been running in these clothes for a few days now (which is ok since I have but still).

Exciting news

We're back from camping and I slept in my own bed last night (score). I woke up (for real) around 7:30 and ran. This morning I ran 3.3 miles or "the short loop" as I think of it in my head. When I got back I showered and cleaned my room a little (always good when there's company here) and then hung out until breakfast.

Jenny and Doug and I ate breakfast at Maria's Cafe which was totally not crowded today. Not at all what I expected. Jenny and I had corn pancakes (yum). Then we did a tour at the state capitol building which is totally fun and also involves us going up on the roof to look at the statue. (That was my favorite part. I did well considering it was the roof.)

We stopped into the Cathedral but a photographer was taking pictures of a wedding party inside so we didn't stay long. The plan is to go to Ikea, the Mall of America, and the Aquarium later today. Right now I'm going to snack and then nap.

quick update

Jenny and Doug got here late last night and even now they are asleep. I got up early and ran 3.8 miles (hell yeah). I need to take a shower so I can wake them and we can go shopping but I just wanted to write down my mileage.

running and other things

I ran today. I actually had a really good run this morning and I'm planning on having another good run tomorrow morning. I ran just over 5k today.

I'm still taking the advice about "pushing off with every step" and "lifting my knees" when I run up hill. I think running hills over the weekend helped me figure out how to swing my arms more efficiently more than anything it did for my legs.

The advice about running down hill is basically that my legs can take a beating going down hill (and running up hill is actually easier on joints and muscles). Basically I'm supposed to lean forward as far as I can. I tried it this morning. All hunched over with my arms dragging low I may have looked like a gorilla.

Who's on a roll now

Ok, so Kelly got me on a roll with the whole "Las-Vegas-hates-the-homeless" thing. I was reading some things that others posted on her comments section, some in support of the ordinance and others against it. The solution enacted by city council in effect states that parks are for the people who live around them and not the homeless. There aren't enough parks to share or we shouldn't have to share with these people. This is known as the Scarcity Mentality.

I am reminded of something my Mom (yes, I just lobbed that one up there for you) said to me as a child, still says to me in fact. She's always and forever telling me, "there is enough to go around", "there is enough time", "we have enough of that". That is called an abundance mentality.

Basically, it states that there are enough resources in the world. We as a people just need to decided how to share those resources. There is enough money for everyone. There are enough doctors in the world. There is enough medicine in the world. There is enough time in the world. There is enough water in the world. There is enough oil in the world.

There is enough food to feed the world. The problem is that the food is not in the right place, spoils too quickly, or being fed to livestock. So once we know there is right now enough food in the world, what do we do with that information? (I'd like to point out that the BBC article is hard for me to look at because the pictures remind me of Malawi where I lived.)

Now apply that to the United States. The United States has the highest GDP in the world and the fifth highest GDP per capita in the world. So, there's a lot of money here. We have a lot of resources. We have enough.

Now apply that to Las Vegas. The median income of Las Vegas is $44,069 which is about average for the United States.

The United States is the world's bank, the world's bread basket, and the world's police force. Do you really think we don't have enough to share with 12,000 homeless people in Las Vegas?

So, assume that there are enough resources to fix this problem. Assume that there is enough space, enough parks and enough money to fix this probelm. Now what do you want to do?

feeling fat and lazy

I'm feeling fat and lazy today because I didn't run. I had alarm clock issues and not enough time. Anyways, while talking with Kelly she told me to check out her blog and specifically look at a post from Friday with all the comments and one from today with even more research.

At issue is a City Ordinance passed in Las Vegas that makes it a misdemeanor to hand out food to homeless people in city parks. It's Las Vegas' way of combatting large groups of people who are homeless gathering in public parks. The homeless population of Las Vegas has doubled in the past decade. I'm assuming these people had been in Las Vegas and had homes at some point. It's not like all the homeless people in a bunch of cities got together and said, "Hey, let's all go be homeless in Las Vegas. That looks like a nice place."

So there's a limited pool of resources to address this issue. Some people including the Mayor of Las Vegas think the best way to use those resources is the employ police to arrest people for being in the parks before dawn or passing out food in the parks at all. This keeps the homeless out of parks so families who live in the neighborhood can use them with their children. In this scenario some homeless and some charity workers wind up in jail, others receive a summons. (A summons means the person has to appear in court at a certain date and time or a warrant for their arrest will be issued. They still have to go to court, they just don't spend the night in jail.) This scenario puts the responsibility for fixing this problem on the police and the criminal justice system (because that's worked well in the past) and burdens those institutions. This scenario also provides some relief to the families living around the park.

The other way to use limited resources to address the homeless population is to divert money into outreach programs that provide food and shelter and social service programs that can provide addiction and mental health treatment and employment services. This use of resources places the burden on social service institutions to provide services and public and private institutions to fund those services. (Because charities, social service organizations and government social programs sometimes have more luck affecting change with few resources.) This scenario provides relief to the families living around the park, and relief to the people who are receiving free food in the park.

It's very sad that people think it's ok to choose option one and punish people for being homeless. This is a community where everyone has to live together and look out for each other. The better option is the option that helps everyone, not just the ones with phones to call the police and money to donate to political campaigns.

running up hill

Today I decided I was too tired to run. I get to be lazy from time to time. (I am feeling bad since I didn't run yesterday either.)

Instead I ran hills. Oh yeah, that uses less energy than regular running. There's a hill close to my house that's .25 miles long and I ran up it 8 times. I figure that counts as running two miles. I actually walked back down the hills because I read that running down hills is much harder on legs than running up them. Then I took a walk from my house to Lake Nokomis, around the Lake, across a tiny part of Minnehaha parkway and back home. I took a similar but longer route yesterday instead of running. I'll let you know what happens tomorrow...

I can't believe

I can't believe Kelly hasn't blogged about the new Ikea catalog yet. I actually haven't finished looking through it either. It's like a million pages long.

I just had a thought though. I've been in the market for an ottoman (in Cincinnati where Kelly should live, they're called "foot stools"). I have this funky couch where the pattern was discontinued or was a test pattern and never got going or something but it doesn't exist anymore. Now I just need an ottoman of the same height, preferrable in all black since that would still match the decor. I was going to go back to slumberland, but it occurs to me that Ikea would be cheaper. I wonder if I'll get to the ottoman section of the catalog before next June.

I love it when web sites get translated into English

I'm back on the open mic band wagon. A friend of mine gave me a list of songs she likes to sing including one of my new favorite songs, Water Runs Dry by Boyz II Men. One of the other songs she listed was another one I like, Killing Me Softly. There is one part of this song that puzzles me. After the first chorus there is a nine or ten bar break and there are chords played in the background but I have no idea what chords they are. They don't seem to go with either the verse or the chorus. There is the same break in the Roberta Flack version and while the chords are easier to hear in this version, they're no easier to identify. Which brings me to my point. I've been searching the internet for a more complete guitar tab/guitar pro than I have currently. All of the tabs I have leave out the mystery bars. This search lead me to this page and one of the funnier error messages I've ever received:

In the waiting for a regularization with the copyright owner of this score, its download is no more possible.

Hee hee. I think this site is usually in French and while the translation into English is funny, I could do no better from English to French so I will try not to cast stones.

fending off boredom

Yesterday after running in an attempt to fend off boredom I went on something of a wild goose chase to find shampoo. Apparently no stores in the Twin Cities sell the kind of shampoo I like. I'm currently in denial about it. Seriously, if anyone knows a place that sells the regular Herbal Essence shampoo and conditioner, none of this collections nonsense, but the kind of shampoo I have always used, email me.

Well that little shopping trip to Southdale Target, Walgreens by my house, and Snyder's led me to the Dollar store where I decided I needed a few things. Sadly, the dollar store did not have a new shower curtain liner that I need becuase mine is a year old and I have company coming next week.

The need for a shower curtain lead me to Linen's N Things. I got a new bath mat, and shower curtain liner. I also saw a Faux Suede Shower Curtain that might go with my bathroom but will require matching it to the blue paint and Kelly's approval before I buy it.

Hey, some girls need a friend to go to the bathroom. I think it's ok if I need a friend to approve decorating decisions.

the run

Today I ran 3.8 miles or 6k. I have found a way to add another hill into the run as well. (Yippie.) I was reading last night about running hills. One of the keys is "concentrate on lifting my knees" and "push off hard with every step". Oh, ok. Why didn't I think of that before?

Seriously, I tried it this morning and it's hard. It's almost 2p and my calves still haven't forgiven me. I haven't decided if lifting my knees with every step is harder on the gradual inclines that go on forever or the one hill that's steep as hell but not as long.

I'm thinking next week while I'm camping instead of actually running, I may just run hills for practice. All I know is this 5k course has a hill larger than anything I've dealt with yet and I'd like to be prepared.

Also to note, I'm back in my normal shoes and quite happy about it. And apparently, there is a magic window of times I can hit the snooze button. Too few and I'm still good and asleep. Although, if I hit the snooze too many times (like over an hour) my body decides I'm not serious about waking up and goes back to bed. The magic window seems to be 30 to 45 mintues of snooze time. Ask me how I found that out...

need to find new shoes

I ran 3.3 miles this morning. Here's the thing: I need to find new shoes. Yesterday, after the dog incident I got some blisters. Actually I'd been getting blisters for a while from having arch support inserts in my sheos. The arch support insert stops around the ball of my foot and I'd been getting some big blisters there but yesterday was the straw that broke the camel's back. I actually took off my shoes and walked barefoot for a while. I like to think I was channeling Kelly.

I actually ran a second time yesterday and only got about 2 miles because I went in the mid-day heat. But that time and this morning I wore a different pair of shoes and I've decided I like my Nike's better. My legs hurt this morning in ways they don't typically hurt when I run. Especially my calves and ham strings and lower back and... Well I guess a lot of stuff hurt in ways it doesn't usually.

How fast does it take blisters to heal? I haven't popped them yet, but apparently that's what I'm supposed to do. I thought that was bad to do.

Anyways, I was supposed to work last night but that just got cancelled so now I feel like I have nothing to do.

where I should live

Well, I was reading Kelly's blog and saw her results for this quiz so I thought I would take it too.

My results:

1. Portland, Oregon. I like Portland. It's a bit far from family and friends though.
2. Little Rock, AK. Um, no.
3. San Jose, CA. I actually do have family out there, a couple cousins but the cost of living is really high.
4. Corvallis, OR. Where? If it's like Portland I'd probably love it but miss Amanda and Kelly and family.
5. Hartford, CT. Doesn't that city have like more crime than NYC?
6. Baltimore, MD. I don't know why this one doesn't sit well with me. I have a friend who went to school there and liked it.
7. Las Vegas, NV. Huh? Seriously, how did that one get there?
8. Milwaukee, WI. Oh hell no.
9. Salem, OR. See 4.
10. Honolulu, HI. Hee hee. Again, I think I'd like it but it's far away and pricey.
11. Medford, OR. See 4

I was surpised that I didn't have any Minnesota cities because I love it here. I think I need to re-answer the questions about the weather because that's clearly what's throwing everything else out of whack. Las Vegas? I ask you.

why I'm a bad person today

It's a beautiful running day. Even now at 10am it's still only 70*. So what happened when I tried to run this morning at 7am? I was attacked by a dog, not so much attacked as it wanted to play. I think my record on dogs is pretty clear. I could really do without them so when this thing started chasing me down the block and jumping on me I was not happy. When it followed me over a mile I was less amused but also thinking someone might be looking for it. At first I didn't care that it was following me but once we crossed Chicago Ave and Park Ave I could see I had a problem so I started running back to where this thing first started harrassing me. I couldn't ever get close enough to look at it's tag, and even though I stopped running and called it over, that wasn't what we would call 110% effort on my part. At one point three blocks away from where I met it, I thought it was home so instead of turning back, I then went on taking it farther from where we started our journey. Two blocks south of there (five blocks from the original point and over a mile of running later) it finally left me and went to some guy walking his dog.

I was pretty hacked off that this animal interuppted what would have been a great run in cool weather and was hacked off that someone let their dog run around the neighborhood without a leash so that it could follow me for a long long time and jump on me and bite at me.

However, I've spent most of the morning trying to convince myself I'm not a bad person for not working harder to get this stupid dog back to it's owners who are probably pretty upset the damn animal is missing.

In honor of it not being 100* anymore

In honor of the temperature being below 100* I ran this morning. It turns out I ran 3.6 miles this morning. That was quite a surprise. It just showed me how much a factor the heat still is to me running. Last week when it was hot I could barely run 1 mile. This morning I still didn't want to stop after 3.6. At some point I had to stop so I had a long enough cool-down walk before I got home.

I also tried to put in some hills but gmaps was being stupid and it wouldn't tell me about the elevations that I ran. It told me that "elevations are only available for streets in the US". Dude, it was a map of Minnesota. I ask you.

they say it's over

Well, the "experts" are saying the heat wave is over. I say "experts" becuase they're saying that but it's 11:37 PM and the heat index is still 105*. Maybe it'll be over tomorrow. Maybe I'll run tomorrow. I skipped doing anything today reasoning that my body needed a break. Is it bad if my joints hurt? Aren't I too young for that?

sitting at the cool kids table

So obviously, from the volume of posts on the subject, last night was an interesting work night. I just want to say ahead of time that I know how big my ego sounds in this blog and it's my blog and I'm ok with it.

The other thing that hit me was that I've been at the aquarium long enough and I understand how things work there well enough that I can be seen as one of "the cool people" who are fun and know everything. I had that realization again last night/this morning. The sad thing about sort of "being the cool person" and setting the example is that sometimes that example gets reflected back, and sometimes (I hope) that reflection is distorted.

I know that sometimes I complain about things at work. I work an overnight shift sometimes with 60 girl scouts sometimes even more terrifying is 60 cub scouts. Even when kids aren't puking, there's some material there. But when I complain, I try to do it in a light hearted, joking, funny kind of manner. I try not to be negative. Usually people smile or laugh at my "complaints". Some of them are pretty funny. Like cutting the donuts in half. I ask you.

So, the co-worker who all of my blogs are about today, tried to "complain". I assume she was trying to get a similar response to what I usually get (people smiling and laughing) but it didn't work so well. Instead she came off sounding pretty negative and miserable. It was kind of upsetting, partly because I don't want to be literally stuck in the aquarium with someone that negative but also because it looks like she's repeating my behavior, but not getting it quite right.

Another one of my challenges is set the example of having a positive attitude and not complaining and having that be cool. If people are going to mirror some of my behaviors, I'd at least like to have it be the good ones.

(Yes, my ego really is this big. Although I'm pretty sleep deprived. Earlier when I was walking in the 100* heat I read a sign that said "Decaf child" and it took me a full minute of knowing that wasn't right to re-read the sign and see "Deaf child". So I'm pretty loopy and full of myself at the moment.)

The things I've said in the past

This is the weekend where several things I've said in the past come back to bite me in the ass. I had this co-worker for a while. I don't know the full story and purposefully never tried to figure it all out but I know that it was hard for him to adjust to things or be flexible with changing situations. He also had a hard time reading social cues. It was challenging to work with someone under those circumstances. That said, he wanted to work and I always said "here is a person who is showing up and wants to work and if we can't find a way to include him, then it's our shortcoming, not his."

Those words have come back to bite me today, and they'll make a return appearance next Friday as well. There's a girl I work with at the aquarium in a very similar set of circumstances. Again, I try very hard not to know too much but she also has an easy time learning the routine and things that always need to be done and a hard time adjusting and being flexible when things don't go according to the routine. The problem is that in this job there's enough work for two people and it's just her and I. I feel like I don't have time to teach her the things I need her to do and do the things I need to do.

I remembered my words (even at 6:30am on no sleep) and tried to be patient (always a challenge) and teach her what I needed her to do. It wasn't that bad. She remembered to do much more stuff than I thought she knew how to do which was encouraging. She also has a hard time picking up on social cues which is only challenging because he was 4 adults and 8 kids in this overnight so any social awkwardness is glaringly obvious. But again, that's just me being a perfectionist. (I'm ok with that.)

Next Friday I could get totally frustrated at the situation and wish I was with another one of my co-workers who I really like working with and is fantastic at her job instead of who I was scheduled with. Instead I will see next friday as another chance to help this person learn the job and include her in a meaningful way. (It may be a long night.)

the hits just keep on coming

It's still hot. Very hot. It's after 8pm and it's still over 90* with a heat index of 112*. Again, it was way too hot to be running so I walked around the neighborhood. I walked over 4.5 miles. I would have walked longer but I ran out of my gatorade/water mix and it was too hot to keep going. When I got back I laid in the pool on a sweet little raft. I think I need to get a flotation device of some kind for the pool. I bet they're on sale at Target now, it's late enough in the summer.

I have decided that I'm running tomorrow no matter what. If it's too hot I'm going to find an early week from the Couch Potato Plan and do that around my running route just to keep running. Then I'm going to pray there is still money left on my parking card so I can drive to work tomorrow. (After work we're going to the Twins game so I need my car to drive home late at night.)

the heat wave continues

Well, because it's so hot, I decided I can't run right now but that I should walk. It turns out I walked over 4 miles today, and I was dripping sweat just as if I had actually run all that way. The difference was I didn't pass out from the heat as I surely would have if I were running.

An update on the weather, as of 2:30pm, it's either 93* with a heat index of 102*, or my personal favorite, 97* with a heat index of 117*. Why does KSTP always have the temps and heat index so much higher than the other local news stations and yahoo weather? Maybe it's just this week. Maybe they're trying to set more record temperatures, thereby making it more exciting to watch the weather...

update

At 4:15pm it's either 96* with a heat index of 101*, 98* with a heat index of 105*, or according to one station 100* with a heat index of 118*. Either way, it's freaking hot and there's no relief in sight.

at some point this just has to stop

I went for a run this morning in my neighborhood thinking that would make it easier for me to run a long time. I left around 9:30 or 10:00 this morning. Here's the thing. It's freaking hot. Right now it's 12:40 and depending on the weather info I look at it's 93* with the heat index at 100* or 97* with the heat index at 113*. Don't ask me why there's that big of a difference. Either way, it's freaking hot. As I was running I started to feel funky. I decided to walk the rest of my regular route and avoid a heat stroke. I will set my alarm and run early tomorrow.

I spent some time at the pool but it's literally too hot to be outside if I'm not in the water. Plus then there were these little kids who were fine and the Dad was nice but they're little kids running around so it's not all that relaxing. I opted for air conditioning for now.

welcome to slackerdom

I feel like a slacker because I ran less today than I did yesterday. That's ok right? My body needs a break.

I think I am getting yet another sinus infection. There was the one in April, the one in May, the one two weeks after that on the trip to Canada, and now this one, and that's only this spring and summer. Anyone else get sinus infections every time the wind blows? A sinus infection is a good reason to not run so hard. It impacts my breathing.

So I ran 2.4 miles instead of 2.7. I have discovered I really don't like running around Lake Nokomis. I'm mean I love the lake and it has my very favorite view of the Minneapolis skyline ever but I'm not a fan of actually running around the lake. I just get too caught up in when I'm going to be done. I really like the running route I found in my neighborhood.

Also, a note on the hills: I looked at the route for the Milk Run and there is a lot of up hill action. In my current running route the elevation differences (the top of the hill to the bottom of the hill) isn't that large even though I always complain about the one hill. On the Milk Run route the differences are like 5 times what I deal with. This should be interesting. Maybe I should start running stairs...

slow news day

Today I:

• Woke up, went back to sleep (hee hee to those of you at work), woke up again and at breakfast



• Watched Nanny McPhee



• Ran 2.7 miles around Lake Nokomis in the hot hot noontime sun, and then walked around the lake a second time for good measure. Realy I just wanted to work on my tan. (Again, hee hee to those of you at work.)



• Showered. (Aren't you glad after the run and the walk?)



• Ate Chipotle.



• Sat on couch and typed on blog.

I have also spent some time working on a list of songs that are good to run to. Every day when I run I discover some of the songs I love are not good running songs and some songs that I'm not wild about are wonderful running songs. Funny how that works out.

today's update

I'm avoiding posting to Amanda's blog after she and Kelly told me I was posting there too much and I should give Amadna a chance. (Although then Kelly threatened to move the running blog from the "daily blog list" to the list of blogs she only checks once a week. This blog lives on that list.)

Today I ran 2.6 miles. According to my calendar I have five weeks to get up to 3.2 miles. Ideally I'd like to have run 3.2 miles before I try it in the Milk Run. I seem to be adding 1/10th of a mile almost every day. By that logic, in a week I should be up to 3.2 miles. I'm wondering about the route of the milk run. Anything that involves the St. Paul campus of the U of M will also involve a hill. With that revelation, I'm glad I put the hill back in my running route.

I had an interesting day otherwise. I went to see Kelly and Amanda after work and wound up taking the 21 home later than I would have preferred. Really the bus was fine, I had to walk about 10 blocks in my neighborhood later than I would have preferred. However all was fine. I had some time to contemplate songs that are good to run/jog to.

Again, anyone who knows good running music, let me know.

running

I ran 2.5 miles today. According to Google maps almost all of my running route is up hill. Should I be worried about that?

I also started running with music. I think I breath much better when I have music. It actually slows down how I breathe. Although today I though, "oh crap, what's going to happen at the end of August when I try to run a 5k without headphones? That should be interesting.

Right now I'm working on creating a better list of songs that I can jog and listen to. Anyone have any suggestions?

I remember now

The other thing I was going to write about: After I ran this morning, I came back and opened up yahoo, and saw the most disturbing headline ever.

I have several thoughts about this story

• It's a centuries old prank not likely to go away, although my favorite version of said prank was on an episode of M*A*S*H.
• A portable toilet costs $2,000? Really?
• There's an International Portable Toilet Association?
  
• And why does a person keep old busted up biffies? Will they be antiques one day?
  

coming back

It's funny that my last blog entry was about other people not posting when I haven't posted in two weeks.

Here's some random thoughts from this week:

• I was watching CNN last night and they were talking about Isreal bombing Lebanon and the weaponry and so on. And then CNN showed a graphic of the kinds of missels and how far into Lebanon they could go. And the graphic was from Google Earth. All I could think was, "are we seriously using Google to point out possible air strike targets? I don't think that's what it was intended for."
• I thought of something this morning that I totally wanted to write about and was way more important than Google Earth. If I remember what it is, I'll write about it.
  

blog absentees

I am sitting at home (hee hee) wondering where Amanda and Kelly are because neither one has written anything for a while. I'm getting sad and lonely without their posts. The other day Kelly mentioned something about blogger not letting her post. While I've had this problem once or twice, it seems to be a much more common occurence for Kelly. Anyone know what that's about?

I ran today, around Lake Nokomis. I ran for twenty mintues, took a .5 mile walk and then ran the last .5 miles at a quicker pace than I typically run. I was totally encouraged that I could run for a while (like 5 minutes) at this new faster pace, but when I walked around the lake again, after running I noticed some disturbing things about distances and my pace. Basically I am the slowest runner alive. I run like a 12 minute mile and that's being generous. So then I started freaking out about just how long it's going to take to run a 5k. I really don't want to be the last person who finishes the race. Although, looking at last year's results a 12 minute mile isn't unheard of.

Anyways, I was totally excited about how well I was doing this morning and then I got all discouraged once I realized where I would like to be in running and where I am.

things I learn when talking to the parents

First of all, notice how I typed that title to avoid any snide remarks from either snide remark maker #1 or snide remark maker #2.

Anyways, I was talking with my mother tonight about her coming up in September. Basically it's hard for me to go home and this summer I'll make it 3 times in 8 weeks. It's hard to go home for many many reasons. Here are some of them:

1. It's hot and the air conditioning can leave something to be desired. Really I just desire for them to turn it on and leave it alone.
2. I have to take time off of work (both jobs) which means I'm not earning money.
3. It actually costs me money to go home, driving or flying.
4. I get bored easily when I'm home. Both my parents still work so when I'm home I'm not the center of attention all of the time and that's a problem.

And yet, I'm still making it home three times. So it aggravates me to no end and hurts my feelings when my Mom says, "I don't know if I can come to see you in September because I don't know what I'll be doing." Bite me. Is it wrong that I feel this way?

But later she said, to further increase my guilt trip, "at some point I'm just going to have to say I can't take these exams [for the PhD] because there's just too many other things that come up." Bite me. It's four days that you know about far in advance. And one of those days I'll be in school in the morning which is a nice chunk of study time.

I remembered something else she's always saying to me about the OCD, which is that she can control her thoughts and thereby not freak out about everything like I have a tendency to do. This conversation is just further proof to me that she's not as good at that as she'd have me believe. I'm sure she's out of her mind anxious about these exams. I know how I get when something big like that is looming over me, lest we all forget what I was like last year when I moved into the condo. There's no amount of controlling my thoughts that will help with the anxiety gnawing at my stomach and making it impossible for me to consume solid foods. I'm sure that's how she feels about her exams. I know how she gets when she has to take tests.

Anyways, my feelings are still hurt that she wont just suck it up and committ to coming to see me. However, I do feel more aware that when she tells me it is possible to control my thoughts (therefore if I'm still anxious and have OCD it's my fault because I'm not trying hard enough), that's not completely true. It's not as true and she would have me believe.

funny spam

I got one of the best spam email subject lines ever today: Inebriation research is the winner. I marked it as spam and didn't open it, but I was tempted.

Running and pools

I woke up this morning and ran around Lake Nokomis. I'm still on week 4 of the couch potato plan. I actually threw in an extra three minute run at the end because I made the walking break between the second 3 mintues/5 minutes of running longer. The thing about running around Lake Nokomis is there's a stop light at Cedar Ave that impedes my progress but the little part of the lake that's on the west side of Cedar Ave is my favorite part of the whole run.
When I got done running I decided to walk back to my car and get my gatorade and then walk around the lake and enjoy the sunshine. I could only do this because I had taped my arches and my feet didn't hurt. I have a slight shin splint in my right leg but other than that I am doing amazingly well.

When I got home I got in my suit and jumped in the pool. I very quickly climbed out of the pool because it is freezing cold. I sat in the sun for a while and read and now I'm enjoying the air conditioning.

the problem of being bored

The problem of being bored is that I tend to want to do stuff, much like being hyperactive. Anyways, I want to go to Ikea and there's no one to go with me right now. This is the thing about not working normal hours but having friends who do. I could shop alone at Ikea, which let's be honest would be no fun, or I could sit home and think about shopping at Ikea. Recently, Kelly got a new drawer divider that looked cool. I guess it's a silverware holder. Anyways, mine is plastic and belonged to my Grandmother, I'm just saying...

The second problem is that I have less than my normal amount of money right now with plane tickets and trips home and laptop batteries so I guess it's good that no one can come to Ikea and play with me right now. Although, Amanda is feeling hyper. She might go with me...

screaming kids

Recently I've noticed a lot of screaming children around me. Especially at places like Target and ball games and restaurants. I don't know what it is but always these screaming kids. I'm always troubled by it. I think I'm picking up on the kids' emotions that go with having a total meltdown and not enjoying it.

I was at Target tonight and this little girl was going absolutely nuts in the shopping cart and it hit me: If I ever have kids, this is how they will act because this is how I acted as a kid. So here I am, trying shop and listening to this kid scream through Target for a long time and throw things out of the cart (which is really kind of funny now that I think about it) and then out in the parking lot where the lady just let the kid sit in the cart and continue to freak out. Then something else occured to me: If I were a parent, I would have given that kid way more consequences that this lady was giving her. Seriously, when I was a kid if I was bad, like the very second I did something I heard, "no TV tonight" and if I kept it up, "no TV tomorrow" and the next night and so on. Eventually I had to stop myself.

It's totally sad that a six year old having a meltdown in Target made me feel better. This kid had no one to set boundaries for her, which obviously she couldn't do herself. No one to give her any cues that freaking out is not ok. This lady just sat there and let her. She may have cried herself out eventually (or perhaps they're still standing there) but there were no consequences for her behavior, nothing to make her think she shouldn't do it again other than it feels lousy and kids don't understand that. So this poor lady and her kid really made me feel better in a sick "I-could-totally-do-that-better" kind of way. (I take back the "I could do it better" comment because who needs to tempt fate by putting that out there?)

I never knew this

Well, given who my friends are, this seems important to know. See what happens when I don't check my "how-to" of the day for a little while?

ugh

Driving is Wisconsin is hell.

'Nuff said.

Things I learned today

The things I learned today

1. My Dad is a t-shirt snob. He will only play tennis in 100% cotton shirts. He refuses to play in blends because they are too hot. This is sad because, as mentioned before Mom and I hit paydirt at the Jockey Outlet and one of the Father's Day presents we got him was a workout shirt that is all polyester. Ann said that Uncle Dave wont run or play tennis in anything else, so at least we got an outside endorsement that they are cool.
2. It's really hot here. Perhaps I've already mentioned this once or twice... a minute... all day... every day.
3. I love Skyline.
4. I have lots to do at work when I get back and I need to remember to do it all.
   

wierd day

I had a very strange day yesterday. Mom and I went to the Jeffersonville Outlets. I hit paydirt at the Jockey store. My bras and underwear (which are usually super expensive) were $3.99 each. Randomly, my aunt Ann was shopping at the same set of outlets so we saw her for a while. It was toally wierd running into her there considering she lives like 45 miles away in the other direction.

Second and definitly more weird, Mom and I watched this movie called What the Bleep Do We Know. It's about quantum physics. It totally creeped me out. My Mom said she's never met anybody who could see it only once because it's so complicated. We are talking about quantum mechanics here. For example, did you know that

1. Even in atom (the most basic unit of whatever), there is mostly space between electrons and protons and neutrons. Atoms are mostly space yet we perceive our environment as solid.
2. Our eyes and our brain will only see what it knows can exist. So if our brain doesn't know something can exist, our eyes will not see it. When Colombus sailed to the Carribean islands, the indians there couldn't see his ships because they didn't know a clipper ship could exist, even though the indians could see the ripples in the water and the wake left by the ships.
3. In labs accross the US scientists have been able to make objects that are visible the the naked eye appear in two places at once, raising questions about the famous "I can't be in two places at once" line.

My "Love Languages"

Well, since Kelly did it, and I've heard Amanda talk about it, I decided to take the Five Languages of Love Test.

Here are my results:

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Acts of Service
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Acts of Service:		10
Physical Touch:		9
Quality Time:		6
Words of Affirmation:		5
Receiving Gifts:		0

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Apparently, I don't like receiving gifts, which is not really true. I just think of gifts as like an "act of service" since some of the nicest things people have given me have been related to acts of service. For example,
Kelly and
Amanda gave me a gift certificate to Ikea which I loved but it was related to the hours upon hours they spent helping me move and clean. It was really an extension of their service (in cleaning and keeping me from going insane which is like trying to keep dirt off a sidewalk somedays).

Related to my five languages of love, what did I get my parents for Mother's Day/Father's Day...

1. A book called The Three Questions which I gave them last time I was here.
2. I washed the curtains in the kitchen and breakfast nook.
3. I bought a squeegie and a bucket.
4. I used the squeegie and bucket to wash the windows since the curtains were already down.
5. New cell phones. Not my brightest move.
6. I finally got the new microwave out which I gave them two years ago. They are now forced to use this one.
7. I helped my Dad carry the old microwave out the curb. Turns out in Cincinnati it can be thrown away with the regular trash.

While 1,3, and 5 are actualy gifts, washing the curtains was perhaps the biggest "act of service" and possible the most meaningful.

My Day of Rest

Yesterday I ran... more even that was scheduled on the Couch Potato Plan and the I played lots of tennis with Kao. She actually taught me how to serve. So now it's 9:30 on a Friday morning and I am sitting in my hamock.

I have to work later today (1-5) at the museum and tonight (6-12a) at the aquarium.

Tomorrow will be another day of rest but I may actually excercise and pack my car that day...

Also, I was doing laundry a couple of days ago. There I was in the laundry room sorting loads for the dryer and a neighbor who I've (sadly) never seen before comes in to get his laundry. He was in shorts with no shirt. I think I may have inadverntently growled when I saw him.

The Never Ending Story: My Bathroom

(again)

New updates for my bathroom:

1. After some drilling and several broken drill bits (sorry Kelly) my cabinet doors all properly open and close. One or two of those drill bits are permanently lodged in my vanity by the way. I hope that's not a problem.
   
2. After learning to use a hacksaw, I have now properly installed all of the drawers in my vanity. They too open and close properly. No drill bits were harmed in this portion of the day. I've also got to say, I'm very impressed with how easy the hacksaw turned out to be. I thought I'd still be sawing that metal track in two.
3. The towel rack (and towels) are back on the door. They look good.
4. A dark green shower curtain may be more of a challenge than I had first anticipated.
5. The hole in my ceiling is still there, and still gaping by the way.
6. The paint on my tub and floor is still there.
7. I got a shelf and drawer for under the vanity. Very nice. Can't wait to put them in.

I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel on this one. Bathroom redecorating is a long long tunnel.

the weekly call

I called my parents tonight for the weekly Sunday call. My Dad answered and says, "We're eating right now. We'll call you back on a conference call."

What?!?

Who the hell are you and what have you done with my real parents? The ones who just got cell phones last week? The ones who still don't know how to operate the DVD player? The ones who swore to my face that the microwave that's twenty years old (and takes 10 minutes to pop popcorn if it pops at all) isn't it dead?

I must have called the wrong house becuase I got the parents who can operate their new cell phones well enough to make a conferece call.

hm....

Well this is interesting. I'm not sure which disturbs me more. That two college students didn't understand there's no oxygen in a helium baloon, or that there is a Compressed Gas Association.

The Never Ending Story: My Bathroom

Since the begining, the things I have done to the bathroom

1. Taken everything out of it
2. Scraped paint off of the walls and ceiling (not my favorite job)
3. Two coats of kills over the areas where paint was scraped
4. Tried to patch a hole in the ceiling, I have spackle and I need joint compound. Let me know if you know what that means.
5. Removed the medicine cabinet and found even more razor blades. Whoever thought it would be a good idea to dispose of them behind the medicine cabinet clearly never had to replace a medicine cabinet.
   
6. Picked out paint colors. (Thank you Kelly)
7. Taped. Between the tile, the sink, the shower and the doors, my bathroom is all edges.
8. Painted the walls yellow. (Again, thank you Kelly)
9. Took the door off of the hinges.
   
10. Took the drawers and cabinet doors out of the vanity.
11. Sanded the drawers, cabinet doors, vanity, door and door frame. (Again, not my favorite job although not quite as bad as scaping paint).
    
12. Painted the fronts of the doors and cabinets yellow.
13. Painted the vanity blue.
14. Painted the door.
15. Painted the door frame.
16. Used Killz on the bottom inside of my vanity. It was foul, it needed it.
    
17. Installed the medicine cabinet. (I really thought this was going to be my least favorite job and it wasn't traumatic at all.)
18. Replaced the doorknob on the door. Note to Kelly, had the same problem we had last time. I missed your help.
19. Put in new hardware on the cabinets and tried to install them. Note here that I say tried. While the hinges fit the doors, they no longer close properly and I'm not sure what to do about it. Again, call me if you know.

Things I still need to do to my bathroom:

1. Make the cabinets close properly.
2. Touch up lots and lots of paint chips.
3. Put my towel rack back on the door.
4. Get a dark green shower curtain.
5. Patch my ceiling. (See number 4 above).
6. Put everything back in the bathroom. (I actually cannot wait to do that one because it means that both my bathroom and my bedroom will be clean again.)
7. Fix the track to one of my drawers. Anyone good with a hacksaw?
8. Clean paint off the walls, the tub, the sink and the floor.
9. Clean dirt and grime out of the bathroom.
10. Get a new shower curtain liner.
11. There must be more. Right now I'd be happy if my cabinet doors closed properly.
    

What I learned from the Wise Man, the Fish, the Bats, the Bear, the Snake and the Elephant

At the conference I attended, one of the workshops was on Shamanic Healing and Shamanic Journeys, and my Mom recommended I go. So the facilitator explains what a shamanic journey is and says, "We're going to do a little practice. I recommend going down, so pick a place in nature and find a hole in that place in nature and go down it and see what you see." And then she started drumming...

I was walking up and down Boone Hollow to a cave I love, aptly named Hell's Hole. It's really name is Miller's Pit #2. I went to the torpedo tube and crawled along my belly until I got to the breakdown room / skylight room in the cave. This is a cave I know well. In the breakdown room, I went under a huge slab of rock that I'd always wanted to investigate but never had.

Under there was a little wise man with a bald head and a white cloth. He was in a room in the cave with a big fire. The fire wasn't for warmth, it was for light. I knew the man was a kind man, so I asked him, "why do you live down here?"

He replied, "This is my safe place." It made sense to me, although it seemed like he could get lonely.

I asked him, "How can I make my heart not hurt for Malawi anymore?"

He looked at me and said, "let's go see the fish."

We went out into the cave and up into the potholes in the waterfall which are a gorgeous shade of blue. We went over to the side and through a small hole in the wall and into a small room with still water. In this little room lived a large cave fish. I asked the fish, "why do you live here?"

He replied, "This is my home. It is my safe place."

I asked him, "Don't you get lonely?"

He said, "I am connected to the water, and water is all over the earth. Everything that is in the water, all of the sharks and corals and fishes, and everything that touches the water, all the
tree roots and deers bending over to drink, is connected to me. I am not lonely because I am connected to everything."

I asked the man again, "How can I make my heart not hurt for Malawi?"

He said, "Let's go see the bear."

We went out of the room and back over the waterfall to the skylight room and flew up into the skylight. On the way up I touched the worms and the ferns and the damp soil and said hello. When we got to the top of the skylight thousands of bats flew out of the cave around me. I asked the man, "they live here, why do they leave?"

He told me, "This is where they sleep. It is not their safe place. You are their safe place."

Wow. Really. That's exciting. I've worked with bats and studied them and cared for them. One of the bats told me, " You are our safe place because of your kindness and gentleness you show all living creatures." The rule in my house is 'all life has value'.

The bats flew away in broad daylight and a bear came running at me. It was running and growling. I stood still and it ran until it's nose was at my nose and I could feel its breath blow my hair as it roared in my face. The man asked me, "Why did you stand still when this bear was running at you?"

I replied, "It is a good bear. Even though it was running at me and growling, it is a good bear and does not wish to cause harm." The bear walked away.

Again, I asked the man, "How can I make my heart not hurt for Malawi?"

He said, "Let's talk to the snake. Most people think that snakes are evil and you yourself have seen poisonous copperheads at this cave. But you know that snakes are not evil. Don't you?"

I said, "Yes, snakes are clever and wise." I knew that because I worked with some kids who taught me what they thought about snakes. Now when I see snakes, I think of them with those kids views, they are clever and lucky.

I asked the snake, "How can I make my heart not hurt for Malawi?"

The snake said, "Your heart is heavy because you do not share the burdren."

I thought about what he said. Someone else once told me that I was weighed down because I didn't think about sharing the load. She was talking about something else when she said that to me. But I do talk about Malawi and how things were there and what I learned. I realized that I only talked about it with people in my life right now and not the people who were in my life in Malawi.

I liked the fish in the water, so I decided to become a drop of water. I went into Boone Hollow creek and first into Hells Hole and then into Casecade Cave as a drop of water and looked around. I even went up the waterfall and into Casecade the hard way. Then I came back out into Boone Hollow, down to the Mississippi and out into the ocean. I crossed the Atlantic ocean, went into the ground water and came out of the water pump in Mpalale, my old village. I came out just like a cartoon person comes out of a faucet.

I spent time with the people in my village in Mpalale and realized I lost contact with them because I didn't know what to say, or how to explain why I left across the language barrier. Then I realized, to that family I could say, "God told me to go back home. And God told me to write you a letter now" and it would make all the sense in the world. I love that culture. So I spent some time in that village and then realized I needed to go to Linyangwa village in Kasungu, the place I was supposed to have lived. When I got there I was standing out in an open field and an elephant was running towards me. The same elephants I had been afraid would tear me limb from limb when I was in Kasungu, or all of Malawi really. It was running towards me and when it got to me, it hugged me with it's trunk. It hugged me so hard my feet came off the ground. And then I went back to the village and saw the people who would have been my family and neighbors, and the woman who was my friend and we sang and danced. I always loved the singing and the dancing. It was my safe place. I looked around my old house but it made me sad so I went back to the singing and the dancing and the people I had only known a day or two and back to the music. In Malawi, singing is really the only way to worship god. To this day, it's the most pure honest form of worship I have ever seen or heard. And then it was time to leave and travel in my head back to the present in Waterloo, Ontario.

Cool, huh?

I am on the phone right now

I am on the phone with Cesar right now and feel so dirty I want to crawl out of my own skin.

Partly because I don't want to hear what he's saying and partly because I don't like how I'm responding.

I am a cooking machine

I did lots and lots of cooking tonight. I made walleye with brazillian spices. The recipe actually called for shrimp marinated in lime juice, cilantro, eighteen heads of garlic (8 cloves really) and crushed red pepper. I have come to this conclusion: I don't like fish. Shrimp is ok, scallops are good, lobster is GOOD. Fish, not so much, which is too bad seeing as it's so good for women to eat.

Second I made chicken stock. I keep looking at this corn starch I bought. Every time I open my cupboard I can hear it say to me "egg drop soup would be sooo good". And then sometimes I think about making rice but I lack the chicken stock to do it. So for now, problem solved.

And then I made guacamole. The guac is the highlight probably. I added salsa. I don't know if my feelings about tomatoes have been made clear. Raw tomatoes are very very bad, but salsa I could eat by the bucket. I have no explanation. It's really good, I ate about half of it. I'm full now. I hope it stays until tomorrow. It should, there's only like a cup of lime juice in it.

Every time I cook I think of Mark. I keep thinking about what I will do when I finish school. There are some days in Minnesota, usually when it's about -1o degrees, that Florida sounds really nice, particularly the keys. I wonder what would finally make me move from Minnesota to Florida. It's nice to think about but it seems like there needs to be some critical event that would actually force the decision. I have no idea what that would be.

Something to entertain me

I was on "My Yahoo" page and one of the things I get is the eHow column.

The topics are
How to make your parents love you for who you are
How to have a healthy relationship

Seriously, just like that.
Anyone else think this is funny?

It's still funny

I was re-reading this post from a long time ago: One of the funniest things I've written
And I have to say, I still think it's funny.

My latest out of body experience

I was sitting in Reserach Methods class today. The professor in there is generally not well liked by the students but I have been holidng out simply because he did his undergrad at UC in criminal justice like myself.

Since I was a hold out and didn't join in to the general sentiment that this was a bad professor, and also because the professor talks to me about UC all the time, people kept saying to me "you're Velmer's girlfriend". I am in grad school. These are social workers. I am not enjoying this.

Today we had a 40 question quiz which got absolutely screwed up due to a "copying error" with the answer sheet. In the end we got 10 points free for his mistake. I actually felt pretty bad for the guy until later on.

After the quiz we were sitting in class taking notes on sperious relationships. I looked up from my notes to see him looking at me as he was talking. I slowly turned bright red. He ended the sentence with "you know this, what's a sperious relationship?" My hand was not raised. I did not want to answer this question and I really didn't want to talk. Luckily someone else chimed in and answered the question.

But then I started paying more attention, just looking up from time to time noticing he was looking at me. I was absolutely red. I'm sure if I were in sandals my feet would have been red. I was so embarrased and so completely stressed I just wanted him to stop looking at me. And then I began to notice that everyone else was noticing him looking at me which just increased my level of redness and anxiety.

I had this total out of body experience when I could see him looking at me and see the other studnets seeing him looking at me and then they would look at me. I wanted out of my own skin so bad it hurt at that moment.