The voice in my head is back. I had conquered it briefly.
I used to have this roommate that would obsess about everything in a new relationship. "I called him, why didn't he call me back?" "Can I use your phone to call him and see if he picks up?" "What if he..." "What if I..." "What do you think I should do?" I never really understood how she got so wrapped up in things. At this moment I have immense empathy with her. She's not even in the situation any more, she's engaged, or maybe even married.
I have decided to acknowledge how totally wrapped up in this situation I am right now and in writing this seek help to "unwrap" myself. I'm still interested in the situation, I'm just going to give it a normal, constructive (and not destructive) amount of attention.
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Tell that voice to shut up! You are a wonderful, beautiful, amazing woman and if the voice in your head doesn't remember that, perhaps we need to get you drunk and have it tattooed on your forehead.
ReplyDeleteNow then, with that said, let me offer you some advice that helped me from loosing my cool when I was going on those (very few) first dates way back when.
Ask yourself this: what do I have to lose? The answer is, absolutely nothing. Your life is great just the way it is. You are a complete individual, competent and self-sufficient. You have friends who love you, are on your way to a fulfilling career, and just got back from a wonderful, relaxing vacation. You have hobbies, enjoy working out, eat healthy, and generally take care of yourself.
The point is, if (and I'm not suggesting this will be the case, but giving you a worst-case-scenario here) he was stupid enough to not fall head over heels for you, you would still be an alright person. It would be a poor reflection on him that he didn't see what a great thing he could have had. The package (that being you) is great and doesn't need any changes.
Honestly, the only thing you have to lose right now (as far as I see it) is the hope factor, that smidgen of "ooh, what could happen with this?" you feel when you think or feel about him. I've got two things to say about that. 1) Crushes are a dime a dozen, and if you really need that hope feeling, you can find another guy to replace it. 2) That feeling goes away once you're in a relationship and feel comfortable in it. (And in that case, all your current neuroses get replaced by other ones, ala me for the first year of my relationship with Prince Charming.)
Practice saying this with me: "Shut up, shut up, shut up! You don't know what you're talking about! I'm wonderful, dammit!"
And if that doesn't work, call me and I can talk you down from the ledge. I hear I'm quite good at that. :)