Flying Home... a story

6ish Sunday night - check in online.  I am in seat 25A.  I'm pretty sure that's the last row.

3pm Monday - start asking the Google Maps lady how to get from Springdale OH to the airport.  She suggests going all the way around on 275.  This sounds both ludicrous and correct, so I advise Mom of the plan.

3:20pm Monday - Mom and I are done shopping. We've made one last pit stop before the 'road trip' to the airport. We get on the road.

4:00pm or so - arrive at airport.  Hug Mom goodbye.  Make request for two handed hug, because that's a thing that has to happen sometimes with Mom.

4:20pm - there is a bird in here.  Inside.  In the airport.  Not a pet.  It's like a sparrow or something.  It's really freakishly close to me for a wild animal, and I used to be a wildlife biologist. 

4:35pm - Mom calls.  "What'd I forget?"  Mom says I didn't forget anything but I am a GENIUS for not getting on 71/75 Southbound because it is stopped.  It's really the Google Maps lady who's a genius, but I'll take the credit.

5pm or so - the flight delays start. Original departure time was 6:05pm.   First delay update was an 8:15pm departure.  But the plane kept not leaving the airport where it was parked and having some maintenance test it kept failing. 9:20 departure.  10:20 departure.  11:05pm departure.
I am considering going to the Delta counter and purchasing a ticket for tomorrow, just in case.
Also, I begin to research my ballot since I have to vote.  That's the one optimistic thing I did all night.  "I'll get home in time to vote so I have to know what's going on"
I Facetimed with one of my favorite people in KY. He got to play flag football at the Bengals Stadium.  He said it's very big from standing on the field.
I called a friend who is a former airline employee (not from Frontier).  Friend calmly explained the airline really is doing the right thing, and all they can, though also acknowledged the frustration of not knowing what's going on.

8:15pm or so - plane has studied, passed its tests, and is scheduled to depart.  We are awarded food vouchers for $15 (which is kind of a lot).  They do not work a Graters.  They cannot be used for alcohol.  That gets a collective groan.
I grab my voucher and head down to Smash Burger where I am first in line.  As the lady is talking to the kitchen about my order she yells "nine in line" and then "all vouchers".  All I heard from the kitchen was "DAMN!"
I made friends with a 7th grader from St Paul academy who is anxious to get to school tomorrow (versus trying to get out of it) and and 8 year old from Blaine who does Tae Kwon Do and Dance.  She likes dance only when the music is good.  Her brothers play soccer but it's not her thing.  She's also on her student council/senate and she's learned you don't just vote for people because you like them, you have to vote for who has good ideas and can help.  (As I'm researching school board candidates and court justices).

9:59pm - plane from NC lands in CVG, though we are in some doubt because it takes a few minutes to arrive at the gate.
Thus begins the slowest 45 minutes of my life, watching people get off the plane, then watching them wheel people off the plane, then having the 3 zones ahead of me board.  All while I watch the rain POUR down outside.  Will the plane take off tonight?!? 

10:50pm - I am on the plane.  25A is not the last row.  It's second to last. We sit for a while with the door open which makes me not trust that we'll actually depart tonight.  But, the dude in the middle seat of my row got moved up to a window seat somewhere, so now we all have more room.

11:00pm - the door closes and we push back.  And then sit there again, just long enough to make me nervous.  Also, a kid is crying.  I totally get it.

11:05pm - bumpiest take off I have ever experienced.  Seriously thought I was going to die, and then remembered if I was really dying I'd come out of my body and it wouldn't hurt.  The fear and nausea means I'm going to live.  Wahoo!
Since I checked the weather, I know it's also raining in Minneapolis. Which means the landing will likely be just as uncomfortable.

Switching to Central Time:
11:45pm (still Monday) - very smooth landing.  I am nothing but surprise and relief.  I'm also in the second to last row of the plane, so I have some time to glory in that feeling.
Getting off the plane a guy stops to put on his jacket in the only area not blocked by moms off to the side trying to get their little ones back in strollers.  I went around him.  I was so done.

12:05pm - I ask TSA agent how to get to Uber pick up.  (I know it's not in a normal place.)  She was done with her job and said 'ground transportation' which was true for the first 100 feet of my journey, but then became incorrect.
Bloomington Police officer is super friendly and sorts me out, mostly.
Then I get to the other end of the skyway bridge and there's no sineage to go back down a level, but that's the level the cars are on, so that's what I do.  My Lyft driver was super close and very friendly.

12:45pm - I am hone and unpacked, and my backpack is put away. I did not believe this was going to happen.  Also, all my clocks are wrong and I have no idea what's the time.

Happy Election Day.