Feeling Crazy

I'm feeling crazy. Not the good, wild kind of crazy where I could wind up with a new guy or anything. I'm feeling the anxious crazieness of someone who is worrying but really shouldn't be.

I just moved into a house this week. I was cleaning last night and discovered an unused razor blade that had been left by the previous occupant. I discovered it when it sliced through my thumb. It was a deep cut and bled more than I would have liked. I ran from the bathroom to get a wet paper towel and wrapped my hand in it. Then I sat down on the ground, held my hand above my head, applied pressure to the cut, and kick my feet up over the side of the bathtub. There was a lot of blood and I was taking no chances. I had to make sure every part of my body possible was above my heart.

Several red papertowels later, the bleeding stopped. I didn't have alcohol or neosporin so I washed out the cut with antibacterial soap and then put on a bandaid and a lot of medical tape.

Today, I stapled one of my fingers. I was only prepared for the amount of blood I saw today because of the razor incident last night . Although, this time I was at work and the papertowels were a lot farther away. When I came back to the room I was setting up I saw a trail of blood down the hallway.

Tongiht I was telling my Dad what happened and he asked if I was going to get a tetanus shot. I had one last year. I'm getting conflicting information. I used to hear every time you get a bad cut, get a shot, but I also see only get the booster every 5 to 10 years so I don't develop an alergy to the vaccine. What the fuck?

Sorry, but now I'm going to worry that I'll be one of the 100 people who will develop tetanus in the US this year, while worrying that if I do go get a tetanus shot it'll be more than I can afford, and I'm totally annoyed that I don't have health insurance.

I'm worrying a lot about this. I'm worrying more than is normal. I'm aware of it, but it's not helping. Nothing helps. I feel like I am going nuts. I'm just anxious. Although, writing is sort of making this better. Writing is such a wonderful thing, it's therapy without the bills, available any time, and almost always helps.