28.8.05

My life is seven years

The last game we played today was too imgaine my life in seven years. I think I did the worst on this one, or it was the most metaphoric.

I was sitting at home with a baby just hanging out. It was my baby, and I realized it was Deb's home where I was two or three days ago. I liked the baby and I actually liked my husband. I don't know why I'm always surprised in dreams when I like my husband, and always encouraged by it too I guess.

I kept going with it, couldn't tell whether I had one kid or two, I think just one. But I liked my husband and Amanda and Kelly were still around. Amanda was much better with the little baby than Kelly, that's more a memory I had than something that I saw in the dream, but Kelly is the person whose temper I would want around a child.

Anyways, I'm never sure in these things if the kids I see are realy kids or if they are a metaphor for something. The bummer is that the husband who I liked could have been a metaphor too. And the house, I liked the house, all the stuff in it was new, I thought, this is a good place to be.

The last thing we had to do was ask the future self a question, like how they got there. I couldn't really tell myself how I got to this place where I had a little baby and all of these people I liked being around, even though I asked. The future me just sort of sat there speechless. I thought, "oh yea, this is for real". I'm sure that was just what I wanted to see my life as.

27.8.05

Why Alicia Keeps Showing Up

One of the other games we played togay was the psychic game, where somebody asks one quesiton, something they want to know the answer to, and then a second question. The answer to the first question is in the second question.

So for the second question, I had to picture myself in a place, then a person was coming and that person handing me soemthing who was the person and what did they hand me. Obviously, I was in a cave with bats. I had my headlight on my head but not my helmet, which means I was bat netting but not caving. Anyways, I tend to let bats fly around my head, no problem. Then someone was coming towards me, who is it? Alicia, it's always Alicia in these things. She showed me something that was on a piece of paper, I think it was something Jackie had written for us, really good news because we were both excited about it.

Anyways, I had to a game like this once before and I was in a scary place, and it asks me who I see, and it was Alicia then too.

If I ever have to do these games, I will in a cave or with a bat and Alicia will be coming to help me. I'm always in a cave and Alicia is always coming to get me.

I think a horse helped me out one time

I went to this thing today about Edgar Cayce and the Akashik Record. The Akashik record is basically a record of everything that's ever happened, from how the universe was created to what I did in my previous life. It's pretty wild.

Anyways, one of the excercises is to think of a past life and figure out who was in the life and what was going on. I pictured myself in the mountains out west, maybe the black hills by a stream. I was this young Indian with my hair in two braids, which is probably why I don't wear my hair in braids ever, and there was this horse there with me. I liked to ride him bear back. I was looking at my reflection in the water, I was really happy about something. I had just come from somewhere, and I was really happy about something that had happened there, and really happy the horse was there with me. That horse was a friend of mine I think.

Then we were supposed to think of that life as a child and who was there with me, and I was in a teepee sitting on someone's lap. Probably my gramma or grandpa I don't know. I didn't really know anyone who was there, but I didn't really think about it either.

The thing I remember about that life too was that I was sort of seperate from everyone else, sort of withdrawn which is exactly how I am now. I have a few friends but even they don't get to be super super close to me. I never really minded being a little outside the group, doing things a little differently, and I really liked that horse.

Every time I see horses now, even on TV, I think they're being overworked or we ask too much out of horses. Dr. Quinn is a favorite TV show of mine, and I think about how in that time they made horses run many many miles a day because we can't and I always feel bad for the horses like they're being overworked. I think I still feel grateful to that horse, I liked him.